


you don't get what all this is about

by LJF



Series: we all want love/we all want honor [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Agni Kai (Avatar), Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst and Feels, Canon Rewrite, Episode: s01e12 The Storm, Flashbacks, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh is Toph Beifong's Uncle, It's Zuko, Mentioned Ozai (Avatar), Metalbending & Metalbenders, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Pre-Relationship, Protective Toph Beifong, The Gaang Learns How Zuko Got The Scar (Avatar), Toph Beifong Learns How Zuko Got The Scar, Toph Beifong is Not Okay With This, Zuko's Childhood (Avatar), Zuko's Scar (Avatar), because I said so, because she's the only one here, but more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:42:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJF/pseuds/LJF
Summary: During a storm, Toph learnt the truth about Zuko's banishment.She did not handle it well.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Iroh, Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: we all want love/we all want honor [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936222
Comments: 14
Kudos: 480





	you don't get what all this is about

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe it. In, like, a day and a half, my little AU has gotten nearly _six hundred hits_ and close to _one hundred kudos_. Here, have some more!
> 
> Alright, for canonical interactions between Zuko and Aang (+ Katara & Sokka) between "The Avatar Returns" and now: Toph stayed on the ship with Iroh during "Warriors of Kyoshi" (she was probably sleeping), see _or so I have been told_ for "The Winter Solstice" and _this side of the sun_ for what happened in "The Waterbending Scroll".  
> In other words, at this point, Aang is likely the only one of the group who's actually noticed that Toph exists. (None of them know that she's an earthbender, though.)
> 
> (Also, I decided that, since these first several stories are mainly focused on Toko friendship and bonding over any real romance, I'm going to put most of them in the "Gen" category.)
> 
> Some dialogue in this work quoted directly from "The Storm."

_"Have you gone blind? Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?"_

_\- Lauren Aquilina, "King"_

Toph woke up to the rumbling of thunder. She got up and threw on some clothes, then left the room.

 _Where's Uncle?_ Rainy days always put her in the mood for some of Iroh's tea. She headed in the direction she sensed his heavy footsteps, then paused. Iroh was going down into the engine room, where several of the crew members were sitting.

Toph didn't spend much time around Zuko's crew. They didn't understand what a young _Earth Kingdom_ girl was doing on a _Fire Nation warship_. Most of them also fell into the category of people who mistook _blind_ for _weak, helpless, fragile_ , and, on occasion, _deaf_. Needless to say, she didn't particularly enjoy being around them. Zuko, for all his bluster, had never made the mistake of underestimating her.

She knew _they_ felt uncomfortable around her, too. If she walked in on whatever conversation they were having in there, they'd stop talking, and Uncle's quick but steady footsteps told her this was something important to him.

She turned to leave, but then she realized what Iroh was saying.

" _Try to understand. My nephew is a complicated young man. He has been through much._ " Were they talking about _Zuko_ in there? She pressed her palms to the door, _listening._

"When Zuko was thirteen years old, he decided he wanted to sit in on one of the Fire Lord's war meetings. He told me that if he was going to be Fire Lord someday, he needed to learn all he could."

 _Thirteen._ Zuko was less than two years older than her, so that would have been..... _Right around the time he was banished._

"I agreed to escort him in, but I warned him not to talk. The elders would _not_ be pleased to take advice from a mere _boy_." Uncle sighed. "If only he had listened."

"What happened?" The captain-- _Lieutenant Jee_ , if she remembered correctly-- seemed curious.

"General Bujing has never been the kindest man," Iroh continued. She heard mumbles of assent from Jee and the others. "He suggested that they sacrifice the 41st division-- which was made entirely of new recruits-- as a distraction so _stronger_ soldiers could attack from the rear."

"What do those spoiled nobles care about some _fresh meat_ , right?" Jee grumbled.

"My nephew cared," Uncle Iroh said. "He stood up in protest, asking Bujing and the rest how they could _think_ of betraying soldiers who loved and defended our great nation."

Toph smirked. That sounded like something Zuko-- brave, foolish, _honorable_ Zuko-- would do.

"Zuko was right, you see, but it was not his place to speak out," Uncle was still talking. "And there were dire consequences."

 _Dire? How dire?_ She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"After Zuko's outburst in the meeting, the Fire Lord became very angry with him." From what she remembered of the man back when he was still _Prince_ Ozai, she could believe it. "He said the challenge against the general was an act of complete disrespect! And there was only one way to resolve this."

"Agni Kai," Lieutenant Jee said, understanding. "A fire duel."

"That's right," Iroh said. "Zuko looked upon the old general he had insulted and declared that he was not afraid."

 _Agni Kai_. Toph recalled waking up, several weeks earlier, to hear several crew members talking about how Zuko had challenged Commander Zhao to an Agni Kai. She didn't like the snobby ranking navymen they occasionally had to deal with, but Zhao was the _worst_. She hadn't witnessed the duel herself, but from what she'd heard, Zuko had _pounded_ the old man. If his skills back then had been anywhere near what they were now, his bravery had not been unfounded.

"But Zuko misunderstood. When he turned to face his opponent, he was surprised to see it was not the general." _Oh no._ The sinking feeling was back. "Zuko had spoken out against the general's plan, but by doing so in the Fire Lord's war room, it was the Fire Lord whom he had disrespected. Zuko would have to duel his own father."

_What?!_

Ozai was a jerk, sure. But to duel his own son? She couldn't imagine her own father, however obnoxious, _ever_ doing such a thing.

 _A fire duel?_ She recalled the large _burn_ she'd felt on Zuko's face. She hadn't met with Zuko for over two years before his exile, so she wasn't sure when he'd gotten it. _It can't be..... right?_

"When Prince Zuko saw that it was his father who had come to duel him, he begged for mercy," Uncle continued the tale. "He got down on his hands and knees and apologized, but the Fire Lord told him he _must_ fight for his honor. Zuko refused."

_No......_

"I looked away." The former general didn't need to say what had happened next.

"I always thought that Prince Zuko was in a training accident," Jee, the _idiot_ , said. _A training accident?_ Even _Toph_ knew that firebenders didn't burn _that_ easily. A burn as large and clearly defined as Zuko's? _Obviously_ someone had done it on purpose.

 _The nightmares. Oma and Shu, the_ nightmares _._ Zuko's whispered pleas for mercy, his desperate apologies.... those were for his _father_. The man who had _burnt off half his face_.

"It was no accident," Uncle was saying. "After the duel, the Fire Lord said that by refusing to fight, Zuko had shown shameful weakness. As punishment, he was banished and sent to capture the Avatar. Only then could he return with his honor."

 _Spirits_ , it got _worse_. After _publicly_ humiliating his only son, the man had banished him _and_ denied him his honor. His _honor_. Toph may not understand _why_ , but she _knew_ how important honor was in the Fire Nation. To do that to a _thirteen year old_.......

_It would've been kinder to just put him out of his misery._

No, it was worse than that. The Avatar had been gone for nearly a hundred years-- the Fire Lord never _expected_ him to fulfil his quest.

 _Shameful weakness?_ No, Zuko had been _strong_. Strong enough to hold onto his ideals, strong enough to refuse to risk hurting someone he cared about, strong enough to _apologize_.

 _You're the weak one, Ozai_.

"So that's why he's so obsessed," the stupid lieutenant said. "Capturing the Avatar is the only chance he has of things returning to normal." _Normal?_ What was _wrong_ with the man? What kind of person could listen to a story like that and only think _oh, but here's how to get this back to the way it used to be_? Was corporal punishment for children _normal_ in the Fire Nation?

"Things will never return to normal." _You tell him, Uncle._ "But the important thing is, the Avatar gives Zuko hope." _Hope? What good is that?_

Right then and there, Toph made her decision. She'd mostly been traveling with Zuko because she liked the idea of traveling, and because Uncle was one of the few humans she actually got along with. She'd never paid much attention to, or cared much about, his whole _hunting down the Avatar_ quest.

That changed _now_.

 _I swear, Zuko, I will do everything in my power to help you capture the Avatar. And then you're going_ back _to that palace and taking back your title, because spirits know you'll be a better Fire Lord than_ that _man ever could be._

Luckily, the bolt of lightning that struck the ship a few minutes later distracted anyone running by from the strange dents in the wall (and floor) that almost looked as though someone had _punched_ (and stomped) into it.

After that, Toph had gone to the storage room, hoping to pound some coal into rubble. Then she heard another, closer rumble, followed by people yelling.

_What's going on?_

She stepped onto the deck just in time to hear Zuko ask the captain where they were hit.

 _There!_ She could _feel_ the warped metal, sense the helmsman clinging to the rail by the tips of his fingers. She grounded her feet and moved her arms, about to bend the helm in a way that would get him to safety, when Uncle put a hand on her shoulder.

 _"Wait,"_ he whispered. Toph blinked in surprise. _He knows?_

Zuko and Jee were climbing the ladder, trying to reach the man.

For a split second, she could feel a buzz along her skin, as some kind _intense_ source of heat came towards her and then moved away. _Uncle?_ Had he just...... redirected _lightning_? She'd heard him mention the concept in passing, when they'd been having a conversation about different bending styles over a game of pai sho, but she hadn't really _understood_.

Another wave struck the ship, and the dangling man fell. Before she could do anything, the weight on the ladder suddenly got _heavier_ , and she realized Zuko had _caught_ the man and handed him off to the lieutenant.

A minute or two later, when Zuko, Jee, and the helmsman were back on deck, she heard Zuko yell "the Avatar!"

 _What? Is he seriously_ flying _in the middle of a_ thunderstorm _?_ She figured they didn't have a leg to stand on, considering that they were on a _metal_ ship.

"What do you want to do, sir?"

 _What do you think?_ Follow _him!_

"Let him go," Zuko said instead. "We need to get this ship to safety."

 _And that, Ozai, is what makes Zuko a million times better of a leader than you ever will be. Because, much as he tries not to, he_ cares _._

A few minutes after _that_ , when they'd safely reached the eye of the storm, she heard Zuko _apologize_. She was about to crack a joke ( _"Sparky, did you just_ apologize _? Never thought I'd_ see _the day"_ ) before she heard something splashing in the water, and felt something large, warm, and _alive_ fly past them. Zuko froze.

 _Shu below, did the Avatar just fly right past us out of the_ ocean _?_ That was weird, right?

* * *

It wasn't until she lay in bed hours later, eyes closed, when she realized something.

 _Zuko's scar...... was given to him by his_ parent _._

Toph _knew_ parents. Parents were warm, and irritating, and above all, they were _protective_. (She'd understood Ursa's decision, at least. Zuko's mom had _left_ him behind because it was the best way to protect them both. Her parents had done the same thing.)

Parents were _not ever_ supposed to _hurt_ their children. They were meant to keep them _safe_ , keep them _home_ , not injure them and send them out into the world on dangerous, hopeless missions.

_Oma's rage and Kyoshi's feet. Parents. Home._

( _"Lady Toph, why don't you go_ home _?"_

 _"You know, your parents? Don't you want to go back to them?"_ )

All those arguments with Zuko...... all those times he'd tried to get her to _leave_...... he wasn't talking about _her_ , he was talking about _himself_.

She was going to be _sick._

 _You'll_ pay _for this, Ozai._

_"There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown."_

_\- Lauren Aquilina, "King"_

**Author's Note:**

> Funny thing happened. While writing this, I started listening to SVRCINA's new album, _Elysian Fields_. Just as I finished typing the line _What good is hope,_ the intro started playing, and I heard _this_ monologue:  
> "𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺. 𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦, 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 - 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘮.  
> 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘩𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭. 𝘛𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘴𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘶𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵."  
>  _SVRCINA, "Elysian Fields (Intro)"_  
>  (This is a good album. I should use some of these songs for this series.)
> 
> On the scar-- Toph didn't find out about it until she started visiting Zuko at night, _after_ she'd figured out metal bending. That was several months, if not a full _year_ , post-banishment. Remember that she spent the first several weeks practically _living_ in the coal storage room, getting used to living on a metal ship, so she didn't know he was in the infirmary.
> 
> As for Toph's sudden apparent willingness to hunt down a basically innocent twelve year old, remember that Toph and Aang haven't actually met or had a real conversation yet, so she (like Zuko) still isn't really thinking of him as an actual _person_.
> 
> Oh, Toph, you and Zuko have _very_ different perspectives on _family_ and _home_. You're just realizing this now?
> 
> And I know I've mostly been focusing on Toph's POV. That's because we more or less _already_ know how Zuko has handled the past three years and everything that goes down in season 1. (Plus, I have an easier time getting into Snarky!Toph's perspective than I do Angry!Zuko's.) I _will_ be including some Zuko-centric stories at some point, IDK when.
> 
> After all that angst, I think we all could use a little humor, right? [Here](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/850/931/de5.jpg), [this](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/fa/42/21/fa4221fe971907e3ff84d5038acd8af4.jpg) little two-part comic has one of the most hilariously "classic Toph and Zuko" interactions I've seen in a piece of fanart.
> 
> As always, feel free to hit me up on [tumblr](https://ljf613.tumblr.com/).


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